Manly Potato Soup

Manly Potato Soup. It's a thing now. I just made it up.

I mean, I made it up the night that I had two old friends of mine over to have dinner with us and decided that guys are both easy and difficult to cook for. Easy, because their tastes are usually fairly simple and straightforward. Difficult, because when I have company over for dinner...I usually want to cook things that are anything but simple and straightforward. I want to go froo-froo-crazy and buy exotic spices and create dishes with French names that I have difficulty learning to pronounce, and finish them off with beautiful desserts that are oh-so-carefully designed to both contrast and complement the main course in a way that our guests can only describe as "divine". So divine, in fact, that they are moved to applaud and finish the dinner hour with a standing ovation.

Those are the kinds of dinners I always want to make.

But guys usually don't want that stuff. At least...not as much as they want cheese, ham, potatoes, and brownies.

So that's what I made for the two dude friends and one dude husband who gathered at my dinner table to swap work stories and baseball talk. And they luhved it. I think they're going to nominate me for sainthood when I die. 

I mean...they maybe would, if any of them were Catholic. I don't know if any of them are Catholic. But the soup was still good.

Here's how you make it...

Manly Potato Soup
$1.07 per serving/$8.60 total cost

2 tablespoons rendered bacon fat or butter

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced (I use my garlic press...invaluable little kitchen tool. Knives frustrate me. Especially when I have to mince something.)

2 tablespoons flour

2 tablespoons chicken base or bouillon, dissolved in 1 cup hot water

6 medium potatoes, diced

1 pound ham steak, diced

2 cups milk (optional)

3 cups water

1/4 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup sour cream

4 ounces (1/2 small block) Cheddar cheese, shredded

Garnish:

3 green onions, sliced

Additional shredded Cheddar cheese

Seasoning (all measurements are approximate and should be adjusted according to taste):

Oregano, red pepper, and cayenne. Look at all that flavoryliciousness.

Oregano (1 teaspoon)

Cayenne (I used 1/2 teaspoon, but that was on the warm side. I would recommend 1/4 teaspoon instead.)

Red pepper flakes (1/4-1/2 teaspoon)

Black pepper (several good turns of the grinder, 1 teaspoon)

Salt (Start conservatively. I ended up with three or four big pinches, or about 1 teaspoon)

In Dutch oven over medium heat, heat bacon fat or butter until melted. Add chopped onion and cook, stirring often, until translucent and beginning to brown (see photos of this caramelized yumminess below). Add minced garlic and cook until fragrant, stirring constantly, about 20 seconds. Add flour and cook for another minute or so, then g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y add the dissolved bouillion (known in my house as "the chicken-y water"), splashing in a little at a time and stirring well after each addition in order to avoid lumps. Cook and stir roux for 2-3 minutes more, then add potatoes, ham, milk, and 2-3 cups of water; bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until potatoes are tender (about 30 minutes). When soup is nearly finished, add cream, sour cream, and 4 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese. Stir until cheese is melted and all ingredients are well incorporated. Season to taste.  Add additional milk or water to thin as needed. Serve hot with delicious, crusty French bread and loads of cheese and green onions. Bring the whole pot to the table, as this saves guests the trouble of going to the kitchen when they inevitably want seconds and thirds.

If I could make money just by taking Instagram pictures of food with my phone, I SO would...

Notes:

Bacon fat: I have a mason jar that I keep in the fridge where I pour off all the rendered fat every time I fry bacon. You wanna talk about a cheap way to add some flavor? Bacon fat is amazing. And also very unhealthy, so use sparingly (unless you want to die happy).

Caramelizing onions: They should be cooked until translucent, a color somewhere between ivory and brown, with lots of yummy, darker-brown spots thoroughly scattered throughout. Like this:

This is when you know you're ready to add the garlic.

Adding the garlic: Be sure not to burn the garlic! Once you add it to the pan, stir it constantly, and watch that heat. Some stovetops cook a little hotter than others, so if it seems like things are cooking too fast, don't worry if you need to turn it down. Better to cook something too slow than to cook it too fast and then burn it. Burning is usually bad. Some guys will eat burned food...mine will not.

Making a roux: When you melt fat, add flour, and incorporate a liquid, that's called a roux. It's an awesome thing to know how to make, as that's the base for a million different recipes...gravies, soups, pasta sauces...so much yumminess. And if you master the roux (which you totally can), you have the power to make all that deliciousness at home! For cheap! And yummier than the stuff you can buy! The blue box doesn't have nothin' on homemade mac 'n' cheese.

Cooking time: When I made this recipe, I brought it to a boil and then let it simmer "low and slow" on the stove for about two hours. It was ready to eat after about half an hour, but it's important to remember that the longer a soup can simmer, the better the flavors get. It's even better after it sits in the fridge overnight, so it's a good thing this recipe leaves you with leftovers.  ;)

An even friendlier budget-friendly alternative: If I were just making this as a weeknight supper, I would have made it with mostly water...maybe a cup or so of milk. I also would have only used about half as much ham and probably only topped the individual bowls with a little shredded Cheddar (instead of mixing in a whole 4 ounces of the stuff plus copious garnish). But since I was making this for dinner guests, I thought it was worth a little bit of a splurge. And they loved it. So I guess it was a good call. Go me.

This could be your lunch. Seriously, go make this now.