Lovable Lentil Stew

Let's take a look at the humble lentil, shall we? Forget ramen, THIS should be the iconic food of college students everywhere. Inexpensive, full of protein, and readily compatible with SOOO many different flavors. They're kind of like little flavor sponges...except they're not spongy. And they're ready in a flash. Unlike their beany buddies, lentils require no soaking beforehand (though you do still have to rinse them and check them for rocks). 20-ish minutes of cooking is all these guys need to be eatable. That's why when Hubs asked me "What's for dinner?" and I realized I had no idea...I hugged the little 1-pound bag of lentils that I found in my pantry. I mean, I hugged them in my head. Actually hugging lentils would be weird, right?

Lovable Lentil Stew
$1.16 per serving/$6.94 total cost

1 tablespoon oil, butter, or bacon fat

1 Andouille sausage link, diced

1 small onion, diced

1 pound lentils, picked over and rinsed

6 cups water

1 tablespoon chicken base, dissolved in 1 tablespoon water

1/2 cup frozen corn

1/2 cup frozen peas and carrots mix

Seasoning (all measurements are approximate and should be adjusted according to taste):

1-2 teaspoons garlic powder

1 teaspoon onion powder

1/2-3/4 teaspoon oregano

1/2-3/4 teaspoon thyme

2-3 dashes crushed red pepper (this gets spicier as the dish cooks, so apply with caution)

Sea salt (several liberal pinches, applied and tasted throughout)

Black pepper (several liberal turns of the pepper grinder...plus more on top of the individual servings)

Garnish

1 cup shredded Jack cheese

1 cup sour cream

Heat oil in a Dutch oven or heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat, add sausage and onion until sausage is browned and onion is translucent. (NOTE: I did not have an onion when I made this. But it was sorely missed. There should've been an onion. Also, if you're fortunate enough to have one, the onion powder used to season things later on would be superfluous, so you can skip that.) Add lentils to pot and toast, stirring constantly, 1 to 2 minutes. (NOTE: This is toast the verb, not toast the noun. Do not add actual toast to your lentil stew. Unless you have some yummy garlic toast...in which case, that would actually probably be pretty good on the side. But you knew that already.) Add water and chicken base to pot and bring to a gentle boil. Place a lid on the pot--leaving it slightly ajar to keep the lentils from boiling over--and reduce heat to medium-low. Boil for 20-25 minutes, or until lentils are soft. (NOTE: I like to leave mine on the heat closer to 25 minutes, sometimes longer. I like lentils so soft they could advertise toilet paper on TV. But that's just me.) Add corn, peas, and carrots to the pot and heat through. Season to taste. Serve immediately with cheese and sour cream (and that yummy garlic toast we talked about earlier, if you have it.)

Notes

Watery? Observe the picture below. This is what the stew looked like when I put the veggies in. It was pretty watery the first night. You can solve this problem by reducing the amount of liquid you use, letting it simmer for awhile longer than indicated in the recipe (which is also good for letting the flavors develop), or--what I did--let a little of the excess liquid run off when you ladle it up to serve. The next day it was *perfect*.

Veggies: I added 1/2 cup each of frozen corn and peas/carrots because that's what I had in my freezer. Improvise. Wilted spinach or kale would be insane and delicious. I think some fresh tomatoes thrown in to simmer for a few minutes before serving would be lovely.

If you wanna be REALLY veggie: This dish can be vegetarian if you omit the chicken base and sausage. Maybe try some smoked paprika to fill in that smoky note that the Andouille would add. Vegan? Omit the cheese and sour cream! Sub your favorite soup-toppers instead. These changes would also cut the price of the dish down, since dairy and meat are kind of cash-suckers (which is why we follow Rule #1!).

Servings: This recipe makes a pretty big pot. At least 6-8 servings, depending on how hungry your people are (I used a 6-serving cost estimate, but that was on the conservative side.). I was just cooking for Hubs and me, but I love leftovers, so I cooked a lot on purpose. It's even better the next day! And oh-so-freezable!

Seriously, guys...this is way better than ramen. And I actually kinda like ramen. We're old friends. But if ramen noodles are my old friends, this Lovable Lentil Stew is that cute, somewhat nerdy guy who just moved in to the building next door...and ramen and I both talk about him a lot, and ramen would TOTALLY understand if I wanted to bail on our plans later, y'know, if he asked me out to dinner or something. (Which he totally will.)

(Non-Alcoholic) Ginger-Basil Tea Sangria

This is a new favorite of mine. Absolutely lovely. My only regret in creating this gorgeous sip of sparkling freedom is that I didn't think of it until summer was pretty much over. (If you're up north, this sentence will not make sense. But if you're here in the south, you understand that "summer" is a period lasting from April to October.) But I think you could play around with the current fall-ish flavors and come up with something equally beautiful (remember rule number 6? Shop in season!).

Ginger-Basil Tea Sangria
$0.36 per serving/$2.86 total cost

8 tea bags

2 cups boiling water

1 generous pinch baking soda

Fresh fruit (I used 1 fresh peach, sliced, and a handful of whole frozen strawberries)

1 cup basil simple syrup (recipe below)

1 cup apple juice

2 cups cool water

Ginger ale

Steep tea bags in solution of baking soda dissolved in 2 cups of boiling water. Cover and let steep for 10 minutes. Place fruit in pitcher, discard tea bags, and pour tea over fruit. Add basil syrup, apple juice, and 2 cups of cool water. Stir to combine and place in refrigerator until cold. When ready to serve, fill glasses 3/4 of the way with sangria. Fill glasses the rest of the way with ginger ale and serve.

Basil Simple Syrup
$0.75, total cost (If you have to buy basil. I grew mine, so my cost was $0.25)

1 cup sugar

1 cup water

4-6 fresh basil leaves

In a small saucepot over medium heat, combine sugar and water until dissolved. Add basil leaves and bring mixture to a boil. Continue to boil for 1 minute, remove from heat. When syrup has cooled, decant into a glass or plastic container, pouring through a fine-mesh strainer to remove leaves. Store in refrigerator.

Notes

"Baking soda? Really?": Yes, really. It takes away the bitter edge that iced tea sometimes takes on, leaving a really smooth finish. It's nice. Trust me.

If you don't like basil: ...feel free to use another flavor. Vanilla, maybe. Or peppermint. Or thyme. Go bananas (I'm speaking colloquially. Banana syrup in tea sangria sounds kinda gross.).

Garnish: I served mine in mason jars (which double as drinking glasses around here) with a sprig of basil. I was thinking, though, that serving this in tall glasses rimmed with sugar would be nice, too. To do that, just dip the rim of the glass in the sangria and then spin them in a saucer of sugar. 'Twould be pretty. :)

Now go make some tea sangria. It's better than Dr. Pepper. Maybe.

Some "secret" ingredients should stay that way.

So I was watching Paula Deen the other day...

First, she took slices of white bread (like, Wonder bread) and buttered both sides. Then, she put them in a layer in the bottom of a casserole dish. Then she layered slices of ham over the bread. "And this is just a package of ham that I bought from the deli case at mah grocery store, y'all." (It was rectangular. When was the last time you saw a rectangle pig? Just sayin'.)

"And here's the fun part, y'all..." she said. She layered BANANAS over the ham. "Doesn't this just look dah-lishis?" She spent some time gushing over how "special" the bananas made the casserole taste. A "fun surprise," she called it.

Another layer of buttered white bread.

A heavy layer of shredded Cheddar cheese.

A layer of crushed potato chips.

Paula patted the chips lovingly around the pan. "Yum," she said.

She mixed eggs, milk, cream, nutmeg, salt, and pepper together and poured it all over everything. Then she baked it. She called it the recipe surprise of the day.

I'm so heartbroken. Just when I thought Paula was the Food Network cook I could totally relate to, she's gone and become that lady at all the church potlucks who tricks you into dedicating some of your precious potluck plate space to her "famous" casserole. So you do, and when you bite into it...

...it's Wonder bread, ham, and bananas with French toast batter and chips.

Here are the recipe and link, to satisfy any latent curiosity. Please don't make this.

Photo courtesy, FoodNetwork.com

Ingredients

• Butter
• 12 slices white bread
• 8 large slices deli ham
• 4 bananas, sliced on the bias
• 2 cups shredded Cheddar
• 2 cups crushed potato chips
• 6 slices cooked and crumbled bacon
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup cream
• Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Butter a 9 by 13 glass baking dish. Butter both sides of the bread and layer 6 of them into the bottom of the baking dish, overlapping them as necessary but keep them even. Layer the slices of ham on top of the bread and then the bananas, 6 more slices of bread, then the cheese, potato chips, and bacon. In a separate bowl, beat together the eggs, milk, cream, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Pour this over the casserole almost to the top. Bake for 45 minutes until brown and bubbly. Cut into squares and remove with a spatula, like lasagna

Manly Potato Soup

Manly Potato Soup. It's a thing now. I just made it up.

I mean, I made it up the night that I had two old friends of mine over to have dinner with us and decided that guys are both easy and difficult to cook for. Easy, because their tastes are usually fairly simple and straightforward. Difficult, because when I have company over for dinner...I usually want to cook things that are anything but simple and straightforward. I want to go froo-froo-crazy and buy exotic spices and create dishes with French names that I have difficulty learning to pronounce, and finish them off with beautiful desserts that are oh-so-carefully designed to both contrast and complement the main course in a way that our guests can only describe as "divine". So divine, in fact, that they are moved to applaud and finish the dinner hour with a standing ovation.

Those are the kinds of dinners I always want to make.

But guys usually don't want that stuff. At least...not as much as they want cheese, ham, potatoes, and brownies.

So that's what I made for the two dude friends and one dude husband who gathered at my dinner table to swap work stories and baseball talk. And they luhved it. I think they're going to nominate me for sainthood when I die. 

I mean...they maybe would, if any of them were Catholic. I don't know if any of them are Catholic. But the soup was still good.

Here's how you make it...

Manly Potato Soup
$1.07 per serving/$8.60 total cost

2 tablespoons rendered bacon fat or butter

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced (I use my garlic press...invaluable little kitchen tool. Knives frustrate me. Especially when I have to mince something.)

2 tablespoons flour

2 tablespoons chicken base or bouillon, dissolved in 1 cup hot water

6 medium potatoes, diced

1 pound ham steak, diced

2 cups milk (optional)

3 cups water

1/4 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup sour cream

4 ounces (1/2 small block) Cheddar cheese, shredded

Garnish:

3 green onions, sliced

Additional shredded Cheddar cheese

Seasoning (all measurements are approximate and should be adjusted according to taste):

Oregano, red pepper, and cayenne. Look at all that flavoryliciousness.

Oregano (1 teaspoon)

Cayenne (I used 1/2 teaspoon, but that was on the warm side. I would recommend 1/4 teaspoon instead.)

Red pepper flakes (1/4-1/2 teaspoon)

Black pepper (several good turns of the grinder, 1 teaspoon)

Salt (Start conservatively. I ended up with three or four big pinches, or about 1 teaspoon)

In Dutch oven over medium heat, heat bacon fat or butter until melted. Add chopped onion and cook, stirring often, until translucent and beginning to brown (see photos of this caramelized yumminess below). Add minced garlic and cook until fragrant, stirring constantly, about 20 seconds. Add flour and cook for another minute or so, then g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y add the dissolved bouillion (known in my house as "the chicken-y water"), splashing in a little at a time and stirring well after each addition in order to avoid lumps. Cook and stir roux for 2-3 minutes more, then add potatoes, ham, milk, and 2-3 cups of water; bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until potatoes are tender (about 30 minutes). When soup is nearly finished, add cream, sour cream, and 4 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese. Stir until cheese is melted and all ingredients are well incorporated. Season to taste.  Add additional milk or water to thin as needed. Serve hot with delicious, crusty French bread and loads of cheese and green onions. Bring the whole pot to the table, as this saves guests the trouble of going to the kitchen when they inevitably want seconds and thirds.

If I could make money just by taking Instagram pictures of food with my phone, I SO would...

Notes:

Bacon fat: I have a mason jar that I keep in the fridge where I pour off all the rendered fat every time I fry bacon. You wanna talk about a cheap way to add some flavor? Bacon fat is amazing. And also very unhealthy, so use sparingly (unless you want to die happy).

Caramelizing onions: They should be cooked until translucent, a color somewhere between ivory and brown, with lots of yummy, darker-brown spots thoroughly scattered throughout. Like this:

This is when you know you're ready to add the garlic.

Adding the garlic: Be sure not to burn the garlic! Once you add it to the pan, stir it constantly, and watch that heat. Some stovetops cook a little hotter than others, so if it seems like things are cooking too fast, don't worry if you need to turn it down. Better to cook something too slow than to cook it too fast and then burn it. Burning is usually bad. Some guys will eat burned food...mine will not.

Making a roux: When you melt fat, add flour, and incorporate a liquid, that's called a roux. It's an awesome thing to know how to make, as that's the base for a million different recipes...gravies, soups, pasta sauces...so much yumminess. And if you master the roux (which you totally can), you have the power to make all that deliciousness at home! For cheap! And yummier than the stuff you can buy! The blue box doesn't have nothin' on homemade mac 'n' cheese.

Cooking time: When I made this recipe, I brought it to a boil and then let it simmer "low and slow" on the stove for about two hours. It was ready to eat after about half an hour, but it's important to remember that the longer a soup can simmer, the better the flavors get. It's even better after it sits in the fridge overnight, so it's a good thing this recipe leaves you with leftovers.  ;)

An even friendlier budget-friendly alternative: If I were just making this as a weeknight supper, I would have made it with mostly water...maybe a cup or so of milk. I also would have only used about half as much ham and probably only topped the individual bowls with a little shredded Cheddar (instead of mixing in a whole 4 ounces of the stuff plus copious garnish). But since I was making this for dinner guests, I thought it was worth a little bit of a splurge. And they loved it. So I guess it was a good call. Go me.

This could be your lunch. Seriously, go make this now.